Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Obama vs MMS !! Rajinikanth fact file

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US President, Obama: We will give you all the latest weapons technology....
but you have to give us Rajnikanth...

Indian Prime Minister, Man Mohan Singh:  enna rascalaaa ... Mind It!!




Facts of Rajnikant
1. Everytime you see Internal Server Errors on PP, it’s Rajnikant trying to join PP. PP shuts itself down in fear.
2. Everything Punjabiportal has been so far was actually done to publish this article in praises of Rajnikant.




Facts submitted by the readers of this article:

1. Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!! - by Ketan Raiyani

2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!! - by Ankit Shukla

3. Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !! - by Ankit Shukla

4. When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”‌ - by Ankit Shukla

5. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!! - by Ankit Shukla

6. The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!‌ - by Ankit Shukla



7. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol - by TJ

8. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!! - by TJ

9. Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife. - by Vivek Singhania

10. There in nothing Rajini’Kant do. - by Pras

11. Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other. – by Sourav Ghosh

12. Neo was “the one” Rajinikant is “the only one” - by Pras

13. Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants. - by Rajini

14. Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside. - by Prabh

15. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle. - by Abbas

16. Rajini doesn’t need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants. - by Abbas



17. All of the theories on Dinosaur Extinction are wrong. Rajnikant simply stomped his foot and they all died. - by Abbas

18. If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him. - by Abbas

19. Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down. - by Abbas

20. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land. - by Abbas

21. If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning. - by Abbas

22. Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. - by Abbas

23. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired - by Abbas

24. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on. - by Abbas

25. Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana - by Abbas

26. In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.” - by Abbas

27. Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet. - by Abbas

28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably. - by Abbas

29. Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? - by Abbas

Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it! - by siva

30. In an wild argument, rajnikant showd a middle finger to his GF…n she gt pregnant !!! - by siva

31. 1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named “Rajanikant” - by siva

32.Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !!!! - by Nikhil

33. Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third. – by Arpit Rathi

34. Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend. - by Arpit Rathi

35. Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking… - by Arpit Rathi

36. Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as “Guiness book of world RECORDS”. - by Arpit Rathi

37. Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA. - by Arpit Rathi

38. Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the “LOG TABLE.” - by Nikhil

39.When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

40. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

41. The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she’s Miss Pooja. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

42. The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

43. The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

44. Gandhi’s non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

45. India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

46. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala. - by Nikhil

47. Rajnikant Bcom Accounting Answr Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING STANDARDS - by Nikhil

48. Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna.. - by Nikhil

49. Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession - by Nikhil

50. Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent - by Nikhil



The gun shoot thru wall illustration of Rajnikant
51. Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed. - by John Cena D-X
52. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.- by John Cena D-X
53. Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocuted on coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth. (Gap10 fans, excuse) - by John Cena D-X
54. Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair. - by John Cena D-X
55. The movie ‘300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1′. - by John Cena D-X
56. We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping. - by Sushil
57. Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question. - by Manish
58. Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari. – by Agn
59. If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft. - by Harkirat
60. Rajnikanth gargles with Frag Grenads. - by Pratik Raval
61. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives.– by Pratik Raval
62. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn’t make any sense. – by Pratik Raval
63. Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car. – by Pratik Raval
64. Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language - by Pratik Raval
65. Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open. - by Pratik Raval
66. Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did. - by Pratik Raval
67. If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity - by Pratik Raval
68. A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon & Rajnikanth are one and the same. - by Pratik Raval
69. Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth. – by Pratik Raval
70. Rajnikanth doesn’t have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth - by Pratik Raval
71. Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet… Hiroshima and Nagaski. - by Pratik Raval
72. When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You NEVER slap Rajnikanth. - by Pratik Raval
73. Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time. - by Pratik Raval
74. Rajnikanth CAN read Lady Gaga’s poker face. – by Pratik Raval
75. Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other “Don’t fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant” – by Gaurav Sharma
76. Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8. – by Aaruni Parimal
77. No one can wish a happy birthday to Rajjnikanth cause he was here before time existed – by Mrugesh
78. i have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone……..dat i dont require a charger now:) - by Neeraj
79. Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In the end he asked the examiner to come back after preparation. - by Sandeep
80. Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!! - by ssumanth
81. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.. - by Sandeep
82. If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him. – by Arun Prasad
83. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS…!!! - by Sandeep
84. Well, this one will be understood well by medical persons. Once acute renal failure patient comes to RAJNIKANT. After getting bored of his complaints, RAJNIKANT just says ‘sssshhhuu’ and kidney starts functioning. - by Sandeep
85. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track. - by Sandeep
86. Even gajani remembers rajni. - by Sandeep
87. This year’s RAJNIKANT award goes to …… Oscar - by Sandeep
88. Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore ne laalten mein padhai ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshni mein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein :) – -by GGJJ
89. Grammatical thinking:Those think in universe in one we start with THE. like THE sun. so not call rajni call THE rajnikant. - by @nk!t
90. Why Osama isn’t caught? Well!! Rajnikanth isn’t interested. - by nihilist
91. Even wildest of animals get goosebumps at the sight of Rajnikanth. Porcupines find him even scary. - by nihilist
92. Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant’s shadow. - by Sandeep
93. One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday. – by dollysandhu
94. The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikhant’s signature. -by Nikhil_The_One
95. Rajnikanth cannot work in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Why??? because he himself is a process. - by RupamChowdhury
96. My laptop is now totally safe from trojans and virus… I just installed RAJNIKANTH Antivirus in my system !! - by Manish
97. Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow???? - by Ali
98. When rajnikanth dies, the grave doesnt read RIP, it reads ‘BRB’ - by Zain
99. World cup 2011 Grouping:
Group A: AUS,PAK,SL,NZ,ZIM,CANADA,KENYA,IND,SA,ENG,WI
BAN,IRL and NETHERLAND
Group B: RAJNIKANTH. - by Ali
100. Rajnikanth got inspired by Superman , Batman and Hanuman and wanted to beat them all in a single shot so he wore underwear over lungi , grew a tail to his back and wore a bedsheet behind him. – by Bhanupriya
101. Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth , Madras - by Dholak
102. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast. - by Me
103. Rajanikanth is the only person to have got nobel prize in acting. - by Me
104. When Pope walks with Rajanikanth, People ask “Who is that guy in robe?” - by Me
105. Laughing Budha is the Japanese guy whom Rajni told a joke in childhood…. - by Aditya
106. No one is perfect, Rajnikant is no one – by Yukta
107. Rajnikanth, it seems is a verb and not a noun. Its the continuous process happening inside and around us. - by Harsh
108. The Indian Government has requested Rajnikanth to restrict importing Bullet trains from China for using them as cartridges in his pistol - by Harsh
109. Rajnikant is lovin’ it! – Macdonald’s new tagline - by Harsh
110. Rajnikanth swaps his visitng cards at ATMs to get cash - by Harsh
111. Once rajni sent an sms to Einstein . It read – E=MC2 - by Harsh
112. Corporate Slogans as they should be:
Impossible is Rajnikanth – Adidas
The car in front is Rajnis – Toyota.
Rajnikanth at Work – General Electric (GE)
I am Rajnikanth! What? Rajnikanth I am – Reebok
Connecting Rajnikanth – Nokia
Hello Rajnikanth – Motorola
Express Rajnikanth – Airtel Cellular Service India
A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India
Do you… rajnikanth!? – Yahoo
High Performance, Delivered – Accenture for Rajnikanth
Republic of Rajnikanth - by Dr Sunil
113. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what rajnikanth can do for your country.- by Dr Sunil
114. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love with rajnikanth.- by Dr Sunil
115. One night at 2AM in the morning Rajni gets a phone call saying, “Congratulation Rajnikant you have won the Noble Peace prize and an all expence paid trip to Bangkok.” Rajni puts the phone down, Mrs Rajnikant asks who was it. Rajni replies. “Some bloody telemarketing guy”- by Dr Sunil
116. By the time Grahambell invented telephone, he had 2missed calls from Rajnikanth. – by gau
117. Aishwairya rai to rajnikant: ek chutki sindhoor ki kimat tum kya jaano rajni babu???
Rajnikant: 0.000000078650000123478956 grams - by Akshay B
118. Once a boy went to xerox Rajnikant’s photograph. The xerox machined got copied twice… - by Dattaraya
119. When Rajnikant signs in at Facebook, Facebook updates its status. - by kundan
120. Anhoni ko honi karde
honi ko anhoni,
ek jagah jab Jama ho teeno
RAJNI , GAJANI aur DHONI.
Congrets team India for winning the cricket world cup. - by Sandeep
121. Once it was extreamly clowdy in china. then they found out that it was rajni who was smoking from india. -by Rohini
122. Rajni was shot with a bullet. The next day it was the bullet’s funeral. -by Rohini
123. Alfred Nobel recieved the Rajnikant Award! - by RNB
124. Once Rajnikant participated in 100m race, obviously he came 1st. But Einstein died after noticing that Light came 2nd..!! - by chaitanya
125. Rajnikaant’s heartbeat is measured in richter scale. – by Yusuf Abdullah
126. Even lord “voldemort” refers 2 Rajini as “He who must not be named” – by Dinesh Rath
127. Once Rajnikant bought 4 acers of land and made 4 wells at each corner. People asked wht was he doing. He answerd that he wanted to play Carrom. - by Raj
128. Rajnikanth bought 2 elephants ,2 camels and 2 horses from the zoo. Why? To Play chess! - by Mahesh Pawar
129. Q: What did John Logie Baird found when he invented television? Ans: There is Rajni’s movie already telecasting! - by Sampat
130. Rajnikant is really mad about people making sms jokes on him that he is thinking of deleting forward options from every phone. – by Zing
131. Rajni knows what’s cookin’ (Rock) - by DATTATRAYA
rajnikant pose
The Hollywood Facts of Rajnikant
1. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
2. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the ninth book.
3. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
4. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
5. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
6. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
7. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
8. 10 actors have played the role of James Bond. No one has been able to enact Rajnikant… THE REAL JAMES BOND.
9. Rocky never challanged the one man who can defeat him… Rajnikant
10. Why do you think there are no superheroes in india…. Simple… no one can invade Rajnikant’s territory.
The real Superman Rajnikant
Rajnikant Vs the Computer World
1. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
2. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.
3. Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com
4. If you Google search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
5. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
6. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
7. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
8. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
Shahrukh vs Rajnikant
General facts about Rajnikant
1. Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.
2. When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
3. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!
4. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
5. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
6. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.
7. Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!
8. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!
9. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!
10. Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.
11. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
12. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
13. Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.
14. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on ….he turns the dark off.
15. Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.
16. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
17. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes .
18. The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.
19. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
20. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
21. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
22. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
23. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
24. Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
27. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
28. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
29. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
30. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
31. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
32. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
33. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
34. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
35. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
37. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
38. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
39. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
40. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
41. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
42. When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
43. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
44. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
45.. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
46. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
47. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
48. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
49. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
50. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
Obama Prays to Rajnikant
51. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
52. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
53. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
54. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
55. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
56. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
57. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
58. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
59. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
60. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
61. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
62. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
63. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
64. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
65. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
66. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
67. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
68. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
69. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
70. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
71. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
72. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
73. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
75. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
76. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
77. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
78. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
79. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
80. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

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