Wednesday, March 28, 2012

laughter lines

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*A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
*****************************

**HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle. If 1 punctures, the
vehicle can't move further

Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....
******************************
**Wife Running After A Garbage Truck: Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet. Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.
*****************************
**A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn't believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn't see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.
********************************
**Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up!
Quick! My husband is back!"
Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes:
"Damn, I am the husband!"
********************************
You know why women starts with 'W'...
because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!
********************************
*Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to
sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
********************************
**Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"
*****************************
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and
clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!
******************************
*A recently fired stock trader said ...
"This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything and I still have my
wife..."*
***********************
*Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
*************************
*Husband to a newly wed wife: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Wife: Thanks, but promise me you will stay there for the rest of your life.
**************************
*Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.
****************************
*Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some
sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!*
**************************************
*

*

*When you feel sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am
really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness. But don`t make this a
habit coz liars go to hell.*
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